Exactly - gear helps, it does - but experience, knowing your class, knowing your PAs, knowing your combos and knowing when to dodge is far better.
I think people need to first know how to not die. I mean, and this is a shot at all games I've seen, many players learn how to gear up and how to throw perfect rotations. But because they believe they are the only ones who matter, they forfeit learning defense and expect others to stop doing what they are doing and dedicate their whole runs solely to keep up the HP of these "masters of dps". But because nobody cares about these unique snowflakes, they end up as floor mats on most meaningful fights, and they complain nobody heals or revives them.
So really, I feel that of all, as equally important as dishing the dps, but the very first thing someone should learn in a game, is to