i Want The Wings To Change Colour To match The Character

There is no way to change the color of the Units if they are fixed-color, and those that are not fixed-color will match to your Outerwaer/Outfit automatically. There are some Units that can use the Change Photon Color option from Dudu/Monica, but that will only change the glowing portion of them.

The easiest way to make units not clash with your outfit is to click on them in your inventory and select "Engage Stealth". It just makes them disappear entirely.